Here's a painting Wiss did of me about 4 and a half years ago. Back then, it was a novelty that I had shaved and he'd found it inspiring to paint this and a few other works. Even I was "happy" with the "new look" and was experimenting with different bandanas and head scarves. However, today, I don't feel like wearing anything on my solar panel! I miss my hair. I'm in a real bad mood cuz tomoro I have to go back to hospital. These couple of weeks away at home spoiled me rotten. I got to go out, see friends, eat at my favourite restaurants... Going back tomoro, even if for only a few days, will probably be the hardest thing I've done in a while. Then I remind myself of the 'serenity now' effect of a hospital bed and think, yalla maalesh it'll be ok. But then again I remember the 'pricks' that i have to take these coming few days, and it makes my stomach turn.
Take all of that AND the imminenet BMT that's getting closer and closer, plus the fact that we still dunno where we r going to do it for sure, plus the fact that it is a super serious 'procedure' of which i am scared shitless. Take all that pressure and multiply it by ten, you kinda get the mood I'm in today.
Sorry you have to hear this, but this is my blog, my journal, and i can write whatever i feel like to vent off. And u have chosen to read it so bear with me. Better yet, try and make me feel better! How 'bout you tell a joke? let's see whose joke makes me laugh the hardest. (If you r not good at jokes, a few consoling words would also probably do the job!)
Thank you my dear readers,
u keep me going,
love,
hala
10 comments:
Halloul habibte,
you are bravacious, dont bother looking up that word, I doubt it exists, but I want you to know that you are incredible and you will get out of this!! here is a short joke which cracked me up when i read it, hope it brings a smile to your face:)
xx
Zena
Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that
Three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq . To everyone's
amazement, all of the colour ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed
onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.?
Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld,? "Just exactly how
many is a brazillion?"
Oh honey! I do feel with you.
We all feel your stress and angst and fear. Keep strong sweetie, you will come through. Will look for the worst joke I can find
love and hugs
It is a big step to have a BMT. I lost my brother after a stem cell transplant when he did not get enough cells from the donor who was in Africa. But since then I have met many people who had the same procedures and are living full and happy lives. I will keep you in my prayers while you make this huge decision. It cannot be easy.
Now for a corny one: Teacher told her class to write a sentence using 2 words; liver and cheese. Little Mary finished hers first and raised her hand. Teacher says Mary, what is your sentence? and Mary says I love cheese, but I hate liver. Very good says teacher, then asks little Bobbie if she has a sentence. Bobbie says I love liver and I love cheese. Again, teacher says very good. Then she asks Pedro. Pedro is very shy, but he bashfully says liver alone cheese mine :)
Well, hope it made you laugh, if not say the last sentence out loud three times. It gets funnier as you go :)
Habibteh Haloul,
All will be fine seetheart. Keep your spirits high up and soaring. We feel your anguish (it doesn't come close to what you are feeling, right! geuuuu, I guessed so)
Just remember what a FANTASTIQUE woman you are, how incredibly generous, strong and special. We love you habibteh. Be healed.
MWah
Hala...not sure if u even remember me but I sure do remember u ;-)...we went to school together and aso we studied at AUB together..never close friends but had many in common...At AUB, I remeber u and Nayla and remember the days u started seeing Wissam and in fact we went out for a dinner with Sarah Daouk, Leyla Tabbara and the gang... whatever I do not think it matters if u do remember who I am..
But here I am today touched by ur story and another cancer survivor like u...and I carry that badge very proudly and whenever I am asked I say that cancer was the best thing that iever happened to me!Yes call me crazy but it was... almost 6 yrs ago and to be specific on June 28th 2001 I was diagonsed with Testicular cancer and what I thought was the end became the begiining of my journey back to life... I cried, I was angry, I asked why me? I was young, married with a daughter and a 12 wks pregnant wife...I DID NOT WANT TO BELIEVE IT!!!
I went thru the journey back to life with all the pricks. needles, countless CT scans and blood works, surgery, chemotherapy and the works (but not the central line though cs I hated it so much). Lost my hair all of it not only the one on my head! and never wore a hat or covered my baldness, my daughter loved it (she was 2 then) and I enjoyed seeing people trying to avoid looking at my bald head as if they did not notice...Wow what a journy and i am sure you know what am talking about...
Today 6 yrs later, 2 healthy kids, a lovely wife and a bunch of great friends I live a much happier and content life...I cannot think it would have been the same have I not learned the difficult way that life was too short and we often make it small too...
Hala, ur spirt amazes me...keep it up dear, keep ur chin up and be proud and be happy for it is another journey that God has chosen for u to take and you will get through...
Needles? pricks? IV lines? blood works?CT scans? or other new words that u learn on the journey are just stuff u have to go through..I hated them yes I do and am sure u hate them but who said it was easy...it is not but we have been chosen because we are strong
Life is so good and u will live it becuase you deserve it...
I will share more and more of my experiences with u if u want me too.. and I would like to try some of those tasty sweet things u bake (although I am on a diet and have been for the past 20 yrs)...
If you want a good book to read..that is if u feel like u can read past one page, read IT IS NOT ABOUT THE BIKE for Lance Armstrong...a great book... I loved reading it
Till I write u again or even meet u when I am in Beirut, GOD BLESS U
Mohammed Nasser
Ciao Hala,
sorry to hear you so sad but after all your lessons of life and proofs of courage where you taught us how to face the obstacles of life, a little release is normal, necessary and human... you chose to share it with us and we thank you for this because when you open your heart to someone showing also your fears and weaknesses, this means that "this someone" is part of you!!
You spent a couple of weeks very intensive and the memory of those lovely moments will help you to let these couple of days pass fast... its only a couple of days, be strong as usual!!
However to match your enquiry I attached some jokes (I hope the other members of the blog can do better... me, working in an engineering industry with a big percentage of men, its the less worse I could find... at least to don't risk to be censured inside the blog!!). Enjoy them...
Talk to you soon
Cristina
....A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like? She finally asked.
The policewoman replied "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
.... A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving
from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom
she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favour?"
"Of course my child. What can I do for you?"
"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated vibrating
hair remover for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have
really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will
confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your
cassock?"
"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie."
"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any
questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'.
The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented
himself
to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",
he replied. Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And
from the sash down, what do you have?"
The priest replied, "I have there a marvellous little instrument destined
for use by women, but which has never been used."
Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father.
Hey Hala
Chin up habibti -- what you are feeling is soooooo normal! You are a fighter and a survivor -- it is those thoughts that must control your mind -- keep thinking happy positive thoughts -- like you said earlier, enjoy the serenity of the hospital bed, get pampered and it will pass very quickly --- you are surrounded by so much love and support to get through this!! chin up, big smile and fight it on head strong -- that is you!!!!
I LOVE the painting, I was told about Wisam's work but had never seen it, must admit I am impressed, love the photo and hay hala, its only hair and it grows back so quickly -- compared to getting better, its a detail!!! It will grow back jsut focus on that!
Little joke I loved -- we have to keep teasing the men!!
Fall Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, August 30, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. < FONT face=Verdana color=blue size=2>
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday,! Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their Day!
--
Because God is all-wise and all-loving, he works in our lives to bring the best possible results in the best possible way at the best possible time.
Thinking of you, darling - hugs and kisses.
Hey halloul (a.k.a brownies queen)
Just for you to know that am now more addicted to reading ur blog than facebook...now how abt that?! lovely reading from you and seeing all the artsy stuff done in here... Keep it up girl! love, Hala (Raad)
Dear Hala,
I am very impressed by your courage and strength. To be willing and able to share your feelings is inspiring. It shows that you are a fighter. I am sure that you have heard this a million times before, beating this nasty disease is in huge part psycological. Keep your spirits high and I am sure that you will pull through again. We are all here for you whatever you may need and you are in my prayers.
Love,
I hope u enjoy this one!
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!" There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are v i sitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store .
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
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