They say that the Lord works in mysterious ways, but this is freaky, man! Ever since I saw my beloved little one, I have found an inner strength that I didn't know existed just yet. Habibet albi, she is such a strong little girl, a tougher cookie than her mom! Seeing her at first with ALL the tubes and stuff coming out of her made me feel sick and queasy, but then I held myself together and her strength seemed to have rubbed on me. Now ALL of a sudden, my stomach is better (of course also tks to mom's amazing remedies) andI find I need to wake up early and rush to the hospital to take Wissam's place. I am not much the one who plays with her, but more the one who feeds, bathes, soothes and cuddles her, kinda what I really want and can do at the moment. I will not lie to you, I am still weak and shaky, but I am trying to ignore that and to put her in front of everything else. I have been criticized of overdoing it, but I can't help it. I want her to go through this as quickly and as smoothly as possible. And she will, inshallah, for they are saying her treatment will be short and easy, hamdillah.
So, whether you believe in God or any other Superior being, I am grateful for what's happening, ironic as it may be, but it could have been a lot worse. Pretty soon Zee will be home here with me, probably next week, and then she will be treated as an outpatient, so we will have our weekly hospital visits together, kinda like 'mother-daughter bonding', a much needed bonding since Zee and I have always been separated from eachother by sickness.
Zee is here now, with me, in my arms. I see her, smell her, touch her and hug her and thank God for her, yes, there must be a 'God' for bringing her to me and giving me enough strength to try and care for her as best as I can.
I want to sincerely thank ALL of you who wrote to me, whether on this blog or privately, and consoled me and tried to help me through this nightmare. I believe in hope, in love, in faith, in being strong together. I am grateful for ALL your kind words and advice, even those whom I don't know, or those I hadn't heard from in ages. What matters is that Zee and I are together and we will get through this together, God willing.
Wish me luck in finding yet more strength to sail through this, and pray for Zee and her quick recovery. I rely on you my friends to help my daughter just as you helped me get through such an ugly ordeal.
Love you tons,
Hala
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22 comments:
Now that's more like my lil sis!! Very well put. Am proud of YOU. We ALL are. Bissalameh to zee & you. Keep walking. Love, bigbro
What lovely words... I am glad you're both doing ok and hope that soon this will all be a bad memory and you'll have every wonderful thing the world has to offer to look forward to.
I pray you will both be on your merry way back to Beirut to that comfy couch you miss soooo much!
Take good care of each other.
Hugs and kisses from Montreal!
God is blessing you and Zee and we thank him for his blessings. Soon you will be back in your own beloved Beirut in your own little home, inshallah! I am grateful that you have posted and let us know how you and daughter are.
Now that brought more tears to my eyes.. elhamdellah ya Hala, i can feel the comforting strength in your words.. elhamdella.. ALL will go away!! We are spreading the word about lighting the Candle for Hope on the 27th of this month, you will have lit candles all over the world and people praying for you and Zee.. you are AMAZING... am so glad you found your fuel.. lots and lots of love, Zena
you really never ever cease to amaze me -- what an amazing person you are!! Again you brought tears to my eyes, hopeful touchy tears, mother tears!!! May you continue to get stronger every second of every day -- you will find more strength, you will find more hope and your faith will get stronger! Keep on hugging, kissing, bathing and feeding and you will both sail through this journey together -- like you said God works in mysterious way but always for the better -- she needed you adn she is with you now. kisses to both of you and I promise tons and tons of love, hope and prayers are coming your way from Amman
Keep strong and positive.
Love
Tammy
Dear Angels,
Hamdulillah thousands of times, I read your precious words and I realized your strong faith that you thought you've lost, it is amazing! really from deep of my heart I thank God ALLAH for his brilliant way to help you, great mom!
It's me again, Rania, you don't know me but I heard about you from a good person that feels with you and pray to you both dear angels like everybody do. I will always pray for you and your little angel Zee and inshallah you will become stronger and blended with faith, love and wisdom.
As I said before try to find the light of God in your life and cherish your souls with Zee and sure you will find peace and strength to defeat pain, disease and weakness.
God Bless you "Angels ZeeHala"
Your sister in humanity…
Rania
Ya Manta Kareem Ya Rabb
Ya Manta Kareem Ya Allah
Anta el Shafi wa anta el mou3afi.
habibti loul,
I was wondering when will u write again since jan 20. (baynetna i was worried) ur blog is my default page on internet and this morning's surprise of seeing ur encouraging words is something indescribable. U r a woman full of love, full of faith, full of enthusiasm. u asked us how to refuel faith the other day, and we were all looking for words to console u. It turned out the contrary ya Loulou, INTI el Faith w INTI el Strength.
Your news about Zee gave me an overwhelming happiness. Allah Kbeer ya Hala, Allah Kareem. Never will he abandon such a lovely family. he put you through this ordeal and he destined you'll get through it.
All my love to you and Zee. Tell her that Lara from Jiddo's office sends u the biggest kiss ever.
Take good care of her and yourself, and come back soon. Beirut misses u tons.
Lara
Kheir...The greatest combination of faith, love, and the best medical attention there is.
Khayy, ya3neh how amazing, to get up in the morning, log on to this Blog and read this beautiful entry. I could feel you smile and you made me smile here too. Thank you for not keeping us waiting any longer.
Love is in the air. :)
Even in the darkest time we will learn never to despair… I knew this is the way you will act … Because it’s in you hala… (h)ope and (l)ove! By holding on these you will sail safely to the shore. God is always with you dear.
Keep going fighter… keep amazing us!
Love;
Dearest Hala and Zee,
Once again you manage to bring tears to my eyes...this time tears of HP[E, FAITH, LOVE and all the good things you cannot even imagine...
God indeed works in mysterious ways...and we are ALL thankful for Him...
Just wanted to tell you that the CANDLE FOR HOPE on Sun Jan 27th is not only happening but I am hearing about it from people on the streets here in Dubai really! Even those who do not know I was the one who asked for it...you see GOD WILL goes a long way and good spreads much faster than evil and this again has given me so much belief in HIM...HE needed you to go through this not only to bring hope and faith to you but to ALL of us who sometimes are too weak or too busy to look around and see His blessings in everything..
Today is a great day!!!
HEY EVERYONE DO NOT FORGET TO LIGHT YOUR CANDLES ON SUNDAY FOR HOPE, FOR FAITH FOR LOVE FOR HALA AND ZEE....
Love you so much for being you Hala and one day we will meet and it will be over a hot cup of tea and those brownies that I have sweared not to touch until I taste the ones you make.
Kisses and hugs to you ALL;-)
Hey ALL blog readers...I have started a cause on facebook called LIGHT A CANDLE FOR HOPE...please join in and invite your friends too...
Hala with your permission please I used your blog main image as the logo for this cause...if you dont want me to, please let me know..
THANK YOU ALL
Thank you for writing this post - and khayy, she is in your arms, the best place to be for her. This will be a distant memory soon...
love you all
Habibti Haloul,
First you really have to consider writing after this is all behind you. Your words are so moving and you do it so beautifully.
I had to read it many times but this time thru tears of joy. I know you are not there yet but I am sure you are on your way.
Even though you had doubts, we were all sure that you were going to find that strength and rise above this and shine like you always do.
Keep the faith and keep walking, we are all behind you.
Love you so much,
Dina.
Well done, sweet one. You are doing so well to be strong and we all admire you, though none of use is surprised, we knew you had it in you. I have never met you, but I was sure once she was there you would take hold of the realities and do what a mother has to do.
Willing you all the strength and energy you will need and feeling sure everything will turn out for the best.
Love
Hi Hala,
I am so glad you are feeling stronger ... you stay in my thoughts and prayers. It is a bummer and I have had to dig very deep myself ... I know others' love and light has helped me.
~ Diane Clancy
www.dianeclancy.com/blog
Yay what lovely words, I can nearly picture you and Zee together, never underestimate a mother's power of healing. They give us so much strength don't they... I look so much forward to seeing you back at home here, and this is what you should focus on Hala. It will happen, all things have an end, this is not going to last forever... I read your Jan 20th entry many times and the last sentence says it all... that you can all go on with your LIFE. I will light a candle for you and Zee, Ramzi will light a very special one for Zeena...Lots of hugs and kisses
my dearest hala,
i wish to clone you! if the world had more individuals with your strength and ability to seek and will the positive...... yallah what a wonderful world. it is not you who gathers strength from us, but rather we who find strength through you.
keep on going!!!!!
Hala,
I read your blog for the firsttime this weekend. You are amazing and an inspiration to all of us. Stay positive, you, Zeena and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Love Zeina Khoury, Baltimre
Ciao Hala did you see how brilliant was the sky last night? It shone of the hopefully light of the candles that many people dedicated to you and the lovely Zee as a sign of love, faith and hope!!
Remember that you are not alone, you are fighting directly but behind you many people support you in all the ways and you know that you can always count on us.
Be strong as usual and be aware that like candles burn fast, so quickly will end your nightmare and you will wake up even stronger.
Baci e abbracci, con affetto
Cristina
Dearest Hala,
Could not have said it better than Cristina...Candles were lit aorund the world for Zee and You...for HOPE...for FAITH and for LOVE...
In fact next Sun Feb 3rd is yet another LIGHT A CANDLE FOR HOPE night...
We love you Hala, we love you Zee...
MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS
my dearest hala, i always new that you are an amazing, wonderful and strong woman. but now i am sure that you are an angel. you make all of us learn more about god, love, life, motherhood, family, friends, fighting spirit, hope, faith and gratefulness...
i am relieved to hear your latest news.
love you always, hug you both
Hello Hala. You are not just strong,,.you are an inspiration. Your strength, love for life and determination to be well strike me as quite phenomenal really. Well, there are many things on my mind now that I can tell you but i will just restrict myself to say that I am praying (really deeply, whole heartedly and "motherly") for you and Zee to have a fast recovery and be back home with the rest of your family asap. All will be behind your backs sooo quickly after that. I hope for the best. "Hope", you have lots of that, even when you tought that you were out of it. Hug, kiss and laugh lots with your precious little one. Its "therapeutic". (you look so WELL together). I'll be waiting for better news every passing day. My warmest regards. Reema Mansour
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