The Loooong & Winding road...

[Just a few minutes ago, while I was uploading these photos, I accidentally pressed the 'publish post' button and the pictures went on the blog without a text. By the time I had realised what had happened, two people had already posted a comment, not quite understanding what those photos meant. Tamara and Cristina, so sorry for this mishap! My bad! (But Tam, I must say, you have some imagination!!!)]

Yes, I feel I am in 'rodage' mode! I have absolutely no idea what that means in English, but it's a sign new cars (or new-engine cars) used to put on their back windshield window (do we call it that???) to tell people to take it easy on them cuz they can't go fast. "Rodage" cars also cannot go up mountain roads, or go long distances without a rest... hehe. Sounds like me, eh??? Alas, cars nowadays don't go through this 'rodage' phase due to (or shall I say thanks to) some technological achievement in the car industry which I know nothing about. I believe people (or cars) sometimes need to take their time. So, I thought I'd pay homage to a childhood 'experience', some extinct six-letter word that takes one from a state to another, from poorly to healthy, from so-so to 'finally normal'. Rodage, I am ALL yours. Take me there. And hurry... hehe!

Cheers,
H

Ever since the doc started reducing my meds, my immunity has been playing up on me. I feel a bit tired and my feet are swollen. I even caught a nasty cold that left me kinda down and angry again. But, issokay, slowly slowly, we'll get there, inshallah. I have to be off all medication before they let me go home again, and this is exactly why. They want to make sure I am strong enough to continue on my own. So, hopefully I'll get stronger and break out of this cell early next month.

Relaxxxxxxxxxxx!!!!

This is what we do while waiting for the doctor!!!

TV GALORE!!!

Who Wants To Be an American Idol, Friends??? So You Think You are Smarter Than A 10-Year Old??? Go on, take the Challenge, or is it too much of a Distraction??? That 70's Show you always talk about is way Becker than any Two and a Half men!

Yes, folks, I've been watching way too much TV! Dunno if that's good or bad anymore, since it's kept me going throughout this ordeal. So, let's see what you think. I want you ALL to continue the sentence:

TOO MUCH TV IS ...

Let's see who comes up with the most original sentence!
Looking forward to reading you!

Let me go watch my programs now,
Love you ALL,
Laha (Well, actually Hala, but the L's were looking so nice under each other I figured, what the heck! ; )

Look Who's Here!!!!!

The girls are here! The girls are here!! Yay! Yay!!! The girls are here!!!!
Finally, I get to see them. It's been ages! I hadn't seen them since last January and I was beginning to feel like a fish out of water.
It's true it took less than 24 hours for me to start shouting and scolding, but at least it feels normal again. I have my girls with me and I can shout and scold all I want! And kiss and hug and cuddle and and and...
It's been a real fiesta here; cooking, singing, dancing, playing games, walking down the High Street, shopping... Hamdillah, I feel busy and useful again.
The doctors have begun to cut down my meds, which is great cuz that means I can go home when I've stopped them. Hope I don't get any side effects from that. I've already got swollen feet again, but I hope that'll go away when I start walking again. (Oh, we've been stuck in the house for a while now because it's freakin' cold, freezing!!!)
Meena and Rabab are here too, and they've been a lot of fun (and help). The more the merrier, right?! Meena's been a great help with the girls and Rabab's spoiling Zeena rotten (and us too with her cooking!)
A friend of mine in Beirut called me today and said that they were sitting in the open air @ the ahweh, in the beautiful sun, opposite the calm, blue sea and that the temperature there was around 28 degrees! AAAAAAAAAAAaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhh!!! I wanna be there. It's probably less than 5 degrees here and it rained horizontally today because of heavy winds. A7777, it makes me cold just thinking about it! Yalla, baseeta, soon inshallah, pretty soon I will be there too, or as Wiss says, I will be nagging him to turn on the AC and fix the temperature in the room, and that it's way too hot, and I'd be hot and sweating. Yes! Yes! Yes!!! Can't wait.

On this warm note,
ta ta,
mwah,
Hala

Family's A Fortune!!!

Whether it's immediate family or extended family, ALL family is priceless! No matter where you are or what you are going through you can always rely on your family to be there for you. Be it on the phone, or behind the computer screen, on a Christmas card, or right there smack in your face, your family will always back u up when you need them. Whether in Beirut, Amman, Dubai, Kent, Bonn, Toronto, Florida, or anywhere else in the world, your family will always be ready to catch u when u fall. At least I am lucky to say my family will and have been!

The incredible support that my family has shown me throughout my ordeal has been absolutely remarkable. In their own different ways, they showed their love and understanding. They picked me up when I was feeling down. They worried about me when I was half-way gone. They cooked for me, bathed me, held my hand, walked with me, read for me, danced for me, sang for me... They did everything possible to make me feel better.

I thank you ALL, my family, my flesh and blood, my heart and soul. Without you, I wouldn't have made it so far so quickly.

Love you tons,
ALL of you,

Hala
p.s. picture of me and Oushi, my wonderful, sweet, German cousin, who came ALL the way to see me and spend the weekend with me with her lovely mom, Heidrun. Thanks a million. Mwah.

The Other Faces of Zee!!!

Habeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebtiiiiiiii, yes, we're playing around with her! And she loves it, hehe. Rabab, my aunt, arrived on Monday bearing gifts, tons of them, and some very 'unusual' ones (to say the least), like high-heeled silver sandals and bright red wig! (She brought them for a good laugh on purpose, and Zee just loved them!) Rabab also brought Zee a couple of fairy outfits from Dina (tks dindin) which we have not been able to peel of Zee until now!!!

Otherwise, we are fine. We struggled with a bit of Zee fever last weekend and had to have her hospitalized for a couple of days. But, they changed her antibiotics and she is fine now, hamdillah.

I, however, have been struggling with reducing my meds, with all the discomfort and body aches that come along with that, but I am adamant cuz I know when these meds are stopped, I am much closer to home. So, let's bear it and shut up! No nagging today!

Today is Wednesday again, and as promised earlier, I am going into London. Been invited to lunch by a very sweet, old friend of mine to a trendy cafe in Notting Hill. Will tell u ALL about it when I get back (if I get back in one piece, for the weather today, I can't begin to tell u,... ufff!!!)
I WANT SUN!!! I WANT TO GO OUT IN A T-SHIRT!!! I WANT TO SWIM!!! I WANT BEIRUT!!! I WANT MY GIRLS!!! I WANT MY MOMMY AND DADDY!!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!!!!

Ok, ok, I know, inshallah soon. Just keep your hopes up and your fingers crossed for us.

Love you and leave you (for now),
mwah,
H

It's good to be back!!!

It's been a while now that I'd been feeling bored, frustrated and actually pissed off. I wanna go home. It feels like I'm a prisoner here, not allowed to leave, at least not before end of April. I miss home. I miss the girls. I miss everything about crazy ol' Beirut! The doc said he wants to wean me off ALL meds b4 he lets me go home. He needs to make sure that I am doing well on my own. I wish he'd let me go sooner. The walls of my lovely Sutton apartment were beginning to close down on me, until a few days ago, when I finally left Sutton for The City! You've ALL read about my 'unfortunate' adventure on the frickin' London Bus Tour. Well, I put in a photo of Zee n Wiss in front of Buckingham Palace, just for the record!

But then came the Canterbury Trip. That was amazing!!! The Cathedral is magnificent, and so was Meena's concert. We stayed in a tiny hotel (The Sun Hotel) of 7 rooms (Charles Dickens used to stay there!). It's a 600-year-old house, recently refurbished, wonderfully cozy. The only downside was the frickin' cooing of the doves on our bedroom window at SIX A.M. in the frickin' morning!!!! But Canterbury is such a nice town, with little roads and kitchy stores and yummy restaurants and bohemian cafes. We took a long walk around and it did us ALL a whole lot of good.

However, the icing on the cake was today's program. A dear friend of mine whom I know from Beirut had invited me to lunch in London. Now, I'm not the kind who'd do lunches every day (Lord knows, I hardly have time), and I don't usually talk much when surrounded by too many people, but, I tell you, today, I couldn't keep my tongue in my mouth!!! It's like I had to talk for the six months I'd been 'silent'! The company was lovely and the food was great (dim-sums, yum-yum!) It felt great to talk about things other than chemo and pain and side effects and hair loss! I was so excited when I got back home that I didn't even need my afternoon blanket, cuppa tea and hot water bottle! To the friend who made me feel "alive" again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And thanks to the lovely ladies who joined in; it was gr8 seeing u again!

So, it's decided, I have to do one trip to London and try to have a 'normal' day at least once a week, or else I shall explode here in good ol' Sutton. Don't get me wrong, I am not being unfaithful to Sutton per se, but the whole routine life I've been living for the past 4 months or so. If I want to make it through the next two months, I have to get out more, try to diversify a little, and maybe even do some research for work while I'm at it.

I've included some photos for you to see. Hope you like them. I dunno in what order they will come out on the blog (I really still dunno how to use all this technology)(but I'm sure if I do something drastically wrong, Rima will hack my site and fix it :)

Till the next,
mwah
H