What a Lovely Way to Burn!

Heyyyyyyyyy!!! Miss me? I do. So sorry about yesterday. I was so wasted from ALL those Morphinis that I couldn't write. Naaah. I was actually exhausted from the shivers and shakes of one stupid degree of temperature!
It had been a great morning. Breakfast at the Martini Bar consisted of about a jug of Morphini and an exotic assortment of pills to nibble on, not forgetting the collection of multi-coloured, multi-purpose shots that come in tiny plastic containers that Wiss likes to stick to his eyes every morning and pretend he's a pirate!!! I was surprised to find very few of u at the bar. Hmmmm. Where u been? Are you two-timing me? I would rathere presume you couldn't make it cuz u were too busy working on the image of me in new hair.
Speaking of those, I've recieved some more today and they are just unbelievable. I might need to have them posted in a different way, and perhaps also published in abook or sth. We'll see.

Anyways, in the afternoon, someone from The Physical Therapy Department came over and gave me a wonderful foot and leg rub. I had needed it badly cuz my feet were still swollen to the extent I couldn't walk on my heels. So you'd see me tip-toeing away in the room, like an elegant swan from Swan Lake only to find me hit the toilet door with the medicine pole I keep walking with, or bump into the newly-decorated, Fadi-very-proud-of Christmas tree and knock down a dozen red and gold balls... Ok, to cut it short (phew!), the massage was very relaxing and helpful, but the minute the lady left the room, I started shivering and my temperature went up to 38 degrees (I can never find the tiny circle for degree on the keyboard, sorry!) Of course, we panicked, until the doc came and reassured us that it was normal to have that and gave me a couple of Panadols (kinda like Dr Garo at the IC Infirmary when we were @ school!)(Garo was it? Shoo ya Reem? Remember?) By then I was too tired to write and decided to call it a night. (MAN, that was the longest excuse I have ever written!!!! Ana t3ibit 3ankon!)

Today, Day 15, woke up with no fever, hamdillah. It had spiked at night (new word I learned here, spiked! ) A nice surprise popped into my room, MILIA!!! It was gr8 seeing her. We chit-chatted for a couple of hours. It was nice to see someone fresh from back home (although, mind u, Milia has not been living in Beirut for a while now, but had "ree7et Bayroot fiya"). Habibti, I took a picture of her to add to my collection of visitors. I'll try to see if i can upload it here tonight.

It being Friday today, lunch was fish n chips. Every1 eats fish n chips here on Fridays except my hospital version of fish n chips was a dry fish finger and a couple of blobs of potato mash sorta sorbet, no butter, milk, salt or taste added! Guaranteed!!! I had some juice and dozed off, only to be awakened by a handsome gentleman in a dark suit. (btw, docs don't wear white gowns here, so u never know who u r talking to). Turns out this guy here is THE head of the pain (or symptoms) department. So, he pops a few questions at me, understands that I was still in pain (heels, throat...) prescribes MORE MORPHINE!!!! again with the reason of why should I feel pain if I can avoid or minimize it. Tayyeb ya khayyi. Shoo badna na3mol? Who am I to contradict a big, important doctor like that?! Eh ben, bring it on!!! Let's get this party started (also a very nice version of Pink's song by Shirley Bassey, hazamazing! Check it out.)

Rabab is here!!!!! Yay, finally a female presence. And a fun one too! HALAkooni Fadi w Wissam. No, habibati, they have been gr8, but aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh. Men!!! Don't be offended guys. I'm just saying we need a feminine touch round here. (Ssshhh, u should see how they tidy up. They just rearrange the things on the tables, you think they r playing Memory with you! hehe!

Yalla need to go dodo. Catch u l8r.
Waiting for ur breakfast comments AND contest entries!

Love,
Hala

nb: Loved your purple spaghetti strap dress, Bee!

Fancy a Morphini, Anyone?

What Martini are you? Appletini? Pomegranate Martini? Chocolate Martini? Blue Martini? Vodka Martini? With a twist? An Olive? Dirrrty? Shaken? Stirred? These are ALL real drinks, and there are many more flavours! I promise, by the name of Facebook! (Isn't it graaaand that I am doing my research on FB now? hee hee!) I have found my Martini Me. It's Morphini !!! (I bet u got that from the title, eh? yeah! shuks!) Well actually, it has been bestowed on me by Miss Dr. Pain herself.
Check this out, I am sleeping in my room this afternoon, relaxing (NOT!!! cuz they keep waking me) when this tall, elegant lady, Head of Pain Dept. comes in and wakes me up. At first I was stupified, esp. bec I was dreaming a very vivid dream, but then I got up, started talking to her. She asked me about some symptoms, some pains, some results... and there we were, chatting away like school girls, when suddenly she looked at me and said: "You haven't asked for any of the oral or sub cut morphine you are allowed ALL day. How come?" So I said:"Well, I just didn't need it. The pain in my swollen feet and hands was bearable." And so she nods, looks at my billion-page chart and says:"Hala, we r increasing your Morphine dose in the pump. There is no need for you to feel ANY pain." So, Yippppeeeeeee!!! Yeeeeehaaaaa!!! I am officially allowed to go berzerk!
It's been so funny cuz, with me, Morphine makes me very sleepy, so I nod off for minutes, seconds, even, and I dream deeeeep, vivid dreams and wake up not knowing where I am for a second or two. Or when I wake up I say things out of nowhere (Wissam stares and smiles!) like: "the tickets are still with dad" or "a corridor with tons of toilet seats" or "why is X marrying a hindi and eating red knafeh?" Weiwd, no? So, with an extra 10 mg, Allah yistor! I think it'll be a day to remember!
Wish u were ALL with me to celebrate life. I will be at the Martini bar all day tomoro and probably night too (cuz I wouldn't be able to get up, hehe!) So, come visit and let's have a chitchat (or a kitkat). Ikh!

Oh, today was Day 14. I am feeling better, hamdillah :)
too da loo da loo da loo,

Cheers,
Halakemia

Yay!!! Can't Wait!!!!

I've started receiving some of your altered photos of me with hair, and they are hilarious!!! OMG, you guys are really something. I am so glad that I got this idea (it seemed 'some' were getting bored of sitting idle or commenting in a line or two.) It has unleashed the talents in you (well, to some they were never on a leash, really, but bear with me, I am trying to be funny!) I will be receiving pictures on my hotmail account until Sunday midnight (whatever time zone u happen to be in), and then I will try to rearrange them in a way everyone can see them on the blog. Then I will TRY to choose the best one, but I doubt I'll be able to (they're only 5 so far, and I can't). We'll see, maybe we'll let the readers decide in a poll or sth (if I knew how!). Frances and Bobbie have been kind enough to post an 'ad' of this challenge on their blogs, inviting yet more people to join in. WoW! Thanks ladies. (But pls make sure that ur readers know that the deadline is Sunday midnight).

Rima Koleilat, come on down!!! Congratulations, you have spotted the pun and you get to take home with you a box of delicious dark chocolate brownies by Cocoa & Co. Applause Applause Applause
If you are still wondering what it was, well, it's ALL: Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (the type I have)

Ok, so Day 12 today (it's Day 12 to me now, but I guess you'll be reading it tomoro, which will be Day 13). Dr Potter passed by to see how I was doing. he told me everything was under control and congratulated me on taking ALL (got it now?) the pain with such bravery. ya lateef! wlak shoo hal Hala. Ufff! I'm just glad it's controllable, hamdillah, and that I still have some energy left to get through it ALL :) God willing. It's addictive this ALL. I survived ALL.

Those of you who have been following up this week will have noticed something different tonight. I am SOBER!!! eeeeeeewwwww. I haven't ordered the extra Morphine I am allowed a day. habla! I woulda been in la-la land now!!! But, yalla, maalesh (4 u Mo), cuz I didn't need any which means I am getting better, hamdilla!

Yiiiy, it's almost midnight now. The nurse is on her way to take my obs. Hope all's well. (temp been playing a bit between 37 and 38. I just hope they find the reason why.

good night,
waiting for u tomoro,

love u ALL

H

Have your cake and (don't u dare) eat it!

Day 11, and the living is eaaasyyy, NOT! I have to admit I feel much better, though, thank God. AND, guess what? The counts have started to increase! They're @ 700 today, or 0.7 for the British :~{) We dunno why since it's still quite early, but the docs said it is possible andhas happened that engraftment might start quite early. I hope this is the case, cuz if it is, it means I will be going home sooner. Just have to be very very extra careful.

However, come the afternoon, in comes the nurse with an injection of Methotrexate, a very strong chemo medication that will hit the whites again, and cause them to drop a bit, plus it does have some 'ugly' side effects like dry mouth, diarrhea... ya3ni, mostly like the ones I was happy to start getting rid of today, only less intense. But, hamdilla, w baseeta, w maalesh, it'll pass inshallah, and i will be as good as new, except with FADI all over me ALL (noticed the pun?! Honestly, who did? come on, do tell!) the time.

Aaaah, Fadi, my alter-ego, my partner in crime, my Samson, my Gabbana, my perfect match (3 stars box)... what shall I tell you. I don't only have your cells now, but I look exactly like you. I am developing those 'whistle while you work' symptoms, I am also 'working' on my mobile phone ALL (aah, here it goes again! A brownie for he/she who guesses) day long. Even my voice is changing into a deeper, huskier, sexier voice like yours (hehe). However, the one thing I cannot master is this 88!!! (when fadi frowns, his eyebrows rise to the shape of an 88 in Arabic, his trademark). Maybe it's cuz my forehead muscles are too feminine? Maybe cuz u actually need to have eyebrows to try that? hehe. Well, habibi, love u however u r, but pls lose the 88, I am jealous!!!)

Ok guys, I loved reading your comments at breakfast. Breakfast, ya right! I could hardly swallow my milk, but maalesh, it was gr8 fun doing that while reading the blog. The docs had their round around noon today. They are very happy with how things are developing with me (hamdillah). I took the opportunity to ask if I could have the yummy chocolate croissant I had my eye on (from the cafeteria, imagine-toi!). They said I could. However, I couldn't chew or swallow one tiny bit of it. Isn't it ironic?

Au lit, tout-de-suite,
mwah
Hala

Can you see them? Can you? Can you?

Oh, come on, no? wala shwai? Ya Allah, maalesh, trust me on this one, there's definitely eyelashes growing. However, the head hair ain't. I'm sure it will soon. Meanwhile, I was wondering how it will come out this time. Same as last time: straight, brown and thick or something else. Ya mama! Well, just for fun's sake, let's play with this picture. You guys who have done some photoshop work on my other picture (check blog in sept), it's time u take out your "mice" and draw some new hair onto my bald spot. Bobbie, Frances, Sandollar, Rima, Fawzan, Neda, Wiss, Linag, May? Everyone else is welcome, plssssssssssss. I am a total clutz with photoshop, but I think u can use other ways (I'd print, draw, scan and resend. ta da!!!!) That is if I could get the scanner to work, hee hee! Pls send finished picture and send it to my halabeydoun360@hotmail.com account by end of this week (Say, Sunday 9th). You can go as creative and wild as u wish (just don't make want to stay hairless!)

Other than that, today's been, eh, well, a Sunday at hospital! Very slow and quiet. Meena was here in the morning, but had to leave early for Kent. So, I was stuck with TWO "mature" men all afternoon. We spent it watching football, formula 1, car shows, even rugby!!! all the while 'playing' with the computers and multiple mobile phones!!! You can imagine the fun I've had. It's good they took me to have an x-ray to break the routine!!!

yalla, too de loo

je suis crevee (mazbouta?)

Oh and thank u auntie rima for "bouillotte"

btw, If u look at yesterday's comments, you'll find that i too added a comment. well, not about myself, but about all those who had 'breakfast' with me. So, write back so we can chat over hot chocolate and croissants!

mwah

Hala

They're back!!! They're back!!!

Thank God Almighty my eyelashes are back!!!!!! Hallelujah!
The worst ever side effect of chemotherapy is losing one's eyelashes. Why? Dunno, maybe cuz they give depth to the eyes, outline them so u don't look so sick? I mean, eyebrows are ok, expected to fall off, so is hair, but eyelashes, (oh and the hairs inside one's nose), never! So, yes, I was washing my face today, and as I was putting on my medicated moisturizer, when I realized I had tiny little lashes growing back on my lids. WOW! (sounds like Ghida's 'wow, bi3a22ed' in that ad). (Ghida I hope u r reading this, miss u tons!)
Chemo has many other disadvantages, however, believe it or not, it does have some advantages! for instance:
- U no longer have to worry about waxing or shaving or sugaring or whatever. Chemo takes care of that.
- U save tons of money on hairdressers and hair products.
- Again, u save time and money on plucking eyebrows and bikini waxes!
- Since your nails turn into a striped white and blue 'lighthouse', and your toenails start playing funny with ingrown ones not allowing u to walk straight, your manicure and pedicure budget is brought down to zero, thus allowing u more time and money for shopping for bandanas!!!
- Ah, (girls only) your monthly visitor, Mme Rose, will no longer be visiting you, thus relieving you of pain and suffering and Advil and NaNa bills!
- Since your blood would be full of poison when taking chemo, you will not get ANY mosquito bites!!! In fact, if they tried to prick u, they die right away on the spot!
I can't think of anything else now, I am sooo sleepy, my head's dropping to the keyboard!

Thank you for those who answered my query about THE INFAMOUS HOT WATER BOTTLE! I think it's a great invention and that we should give it what it's worth (hehe). So, if u haven't come out yet, yalla, now's the time.

I'm glad you all think I am feeling better cuz I am writing more cheerfully, well, ya, a little better. The pains are still there and we are still very early in the treatment, but I guess I got used to it and refuse to let it pull me down again, inshallah.

Yalla, go post a comment to this entry. I'll read them at breakfast tomoro, my morning treat!
mwah
Hala

Ok, I'm ok, but speaking Gibberish!!!

Really, I keep dozing off and waking up to ask a non-relevant question or utter an out-of-context answer!!! Silly me! Silly morphine! I'm better today, hamdillah, but exhausted, so won't keep u too long.
BTW, where r the rest of u? how came my comments have diminished so much? or r u reading but not commenting? hmmmm?! Not allowed. Just drop a word or 2 for me to know somebody out there still loves me and hasn't forgotten about me in cold, old Sutton!
Ok, enough insecurities.
Oh and one last thing, God's gift on Earth? A HOT WATER BOTTLE!!!! Yeaeaeaeah!! (ya3ni kees mayy sokhneh, dunno what in french). Amazing when u r addicted on it AND on Morphine! How many of u own and actually use one? Mine is plastic red with a pink and fuschia (but, of course) polka dot fleece cover. I bought it from Boots here. How about yours? do u think we can get a picture or a sketch? Mom used to always use one, but i never really appreciated its importance! But now, tks mom 4 ur subconscious advice.

yalla, khalas, dodo,
domani
mwah
H